Topless 81-Year-Old Woman Busted Drinking Boxed Wine in a Park

Ok look, I've been contemplating the thought of going to a nude beach since I was 18 and haven't been yet. Sure, it sounds exciting, but bearing it all in front of strangers takes guts that I'm not sure I have. This lady, she's my hero! 

Mary Ellen Stewart, who is 81-year-old, was arrested (not the reason she's my hero) after cops in St. Petersburg, Florida got a call at 7:40 A.M. on Thursday about something crazy going down in a public park. 

She was sitting on a bench, TOPLESS, drinking pink Franzia wine straight from the BOX. Can you see why she's my hero?? Not only is she drinking wine at 7am (you're not the only ones Hoda and Kathie Lee!) she's topless getting her vitamin D man! I haven't stopped laughing at this story since I came across it. But it gets better.  

According to reports, when the cops approached her, she started trying to spray them with her wine! She was arrested for disorderly intoxication which kinda sucks, but man she's awesome in my book! 

Oh, and her mugshot.... is life. 

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