Today's Florida Man headline might make you think twice before making that next morning Starbucks Run, especially if you live here where Florida Man runs, roams, and wanks freely...
That's right today's Florida man was arrested for being both a figurative and literal "wanker", publicly masturbating in a busy Miami Beach Starbucks.
Blake Reign, 27 and a self-proclaimed homeless model, was allegedly seen by several witnesses pleasuring himself at the Starbucks on Collins Avenue and 29th Street around 9:30 a.m. Friday.
Witness Alyssa DiMaria said she was in the shop when she used her phone to record him.
You can hear Alyssa ask Reign, “What are you [expletive] doing? Get the [expletive] out! It’s disgusting!” in a video obtained by Local10 News.
And, as you can see he's completely unbothered and continues to handle his business until cops arrived on the scene about 10min later.
At that point, Reign took off running, according to the arrest report.
Now, you'd think after all that yanking and spanking that buddy would've been spent but NOPE...not even close!!!
Not only did he run causing officers to shoot him with a dart-firing stun gun, but even after he was hit he got to yanking...AGAIN...this time pulling the darts out of his body before leading them on yet another chase. When it was all said and done police had shot Reign roughly 8 times before he was finally subdued causing us to wonder what exactly is that Starbucks brew....
He's been charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, disorderly conduct in an establishment, and resisting an officer without violence. His bond has been set at $700.
Records show Reign was at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on Sunday, Local10 reported.
All we can say is buddy really needs to lay-off the Cafecito...
*if you come across an interesting Florida Man or Florida Woman Headline feel free to send it our way. Just DM @kimmybofficial or @939miami with a link to the story.*